No, no- not you. Probably.

I'm ignoring the fact that I need to distract myself on purpose so that inspiration can come and whack me on the head with a large, heavy object and I can get the paneling for the next comic page done. I don't quite understand why I don't seem to get it. It's one of those things that I just can't quite understand how other people just get it, like that. Other comic artists on SJ, I don't even think they bother thinking about paneling, they just draw. I used to be like that, but for some reason, I'm just too aware of what it should look like and I can't get myself out of the mindset of being professional about it. Even though I'm not really trying to be professional about it - if I was, I would be putting a lot more work into the art!

Anyway, I don't know, it's just not coming to me this evening. Everything feels a bit off anyway. I told myself I was going to get the sketch for this next page done this week- and that ends at 12 tonight, so I'd better hurry. Maybe I'll just force myself to work on it, and see what I get. I'm such a lazyass though...Huuuu~mph.

By the way, not that anyone here cares- at all - but I did wind up naming the comic. It's called Reality.Hacked. Go me...

Tags: art, comic, project_h4x, random crap
Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

Uwwaaah~ my interview is today at noon! I'm so nervous! I haven't done a real interview in almost a year now. And that interview was the one at Kinko's back in Union City, the one that was brief because of the law that said you can't work there if you're under 18 due to health hazards. Dude, I'm glad we're saving our young teenagers from the horrors of photocopiers (but no, really, they've got some seriously dangerous machinery there- deadly if used wrong).

Anyway, so the job is actually quite a distance away and I'm a little worried about how I'm going to get there if I get the position. Mom is doing better, but she won't be able to drive me to work everyday. I'm hoping that something will work out though; I'd hate to go to all the trouble of getting the job and then not be able to make my shifts. That would be so awful... >___>;

I did my laundry yesterday for, like, the first time in three weeks so I would have something nice to wear to the interview and lo' and behold, noting to wear. I'm so embarassed. I don't even have a nice sweater/blouse or nice pants to wear! Mom took Kevin to work this morning so we can have the car today and she's dropping by Target to get a few things; she said she'd try and find something nice for me to wear. I hope she does. I'd feel like crap if I had to wear jeans to an interview. I am getting my hair cut though, and it seriously needs it too, I look like a shaggy puppy dog. It's all fluffy and it's almost down past my neck. Bah- I need it to be short again! Short! 

lulz. So yeah, I will be back on later to tell the tales of my interview...and whatnot. X3

In other news: I held a Fanart Contest for my comic a while back and the deadline just came and went. I didn't get too many entries, but I need to judge the ones I did get pretty soon and announce the Category Prize winners. Then I can focus on the Grand Prize winner, whom I haven't decided yet. The contest was based on portrayal of the character's personality, not on talent, so I really have to look and see how people did in that category. It's difficult, since they only have the information I gave them on the character sheets I painstakingly put together back in August.

I might be using a replacement computer when I FINALLY SEND THIS THING IN *kicks laptop*. It's the old Zombie Box that used to be the computer I had Photoshop 7.0 on. Sadly, Kevin tried to convert it to an Ubuntu server and found it to be too small to run it, so he formatted the drive for no reason...no more Windows 98, Photoshop, Illustrator or anything...*cries* BUT, this does mean I get to learn how to use Ubuntu! Well, Zubuntu, it's evidently smaller so it can fit on the tiny hard drive. Linux is something I've always wanted to try out, just to spite Microsoft and Macintosh...Yep, I'm that bitter. >:D

~~~~~
Purchased Cards: 85% complete
Purchased Gifts: 90% complete
Handmade Gifts: 75% complete

Woot~ progress!

Tags: clothes, comic, computer, fanart contest, holiday progress, job interview, linux, zumbuntu
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Dragostea din Tei ~ O-ZONE

Yeah, so my mom's friend from Texas (who I stayed with when I went there in the Summer) is staying here for a few more days and it's fun. It's great, because mom just got herself a new (used) laptop and Bunnie works for Apple, so she's got her MacBook and I'm sitting here at the table too with my crap-book and, yeah - We're all online at the same time. Fun times. :D

DUDE, I have to send it in tomorrow...and I don't wanna! *whines*

Aaaaa~anyway, I told myself I'd work on my comic today- maybe I should do that soon...Hmph.

I'm tired...and I got over 10 hours of sleep last night. Bummer. 

Tags: comic, computer, internet, random crap, sleep
Current Location: Dining Room Table, Carmel, IN
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Keane ~ Somewhere Only We Know

and that word would be art. Art, as well as it's many variations including artist, artistic, art form, art-y. It's just driving me crazy!

Why? You might ask. Well, the concept is such an abstract one even I don't think I get it. But the best I can give you is that I'm tired of trying to define myself and what I do with such a vauge word. Art encompasses so much! You can draw a line on a paper and be an artist, you can play a song on a piece of grass and be an artist, hell, you can spend your entire career drawing someone elses art over and over again and be called an artist! (That last one, by the way, is referring to traditional animators and in some cases comic book pencillers and inkers.) There is just SO MUCH that you can call "art". It's such a strangely wide-spread word that calling anything art can be true or false or just neither.

So, when I draw say, a character portrait, that is art. Right, but who's art? Who says it's art -and on the same topic, how many people will say that it isn't? I've stopped calling myself an artist. There's a lot of baggage there- a lot of expectations from both myself and other people. But there's really nothing else to call myself is there? How do I label myself? "Creative Individual" sort of works, but then isn't that just another name for an artist? Is it? I don't know anymore! Is it really just up to me to decide that? 

Maybe, maybe not. I'm probably not even looking for answers, I just like to ask questions- it's part of my nature as a "Creative Individual". ; )

I brought up the portrait sketching because of something strange that happened today. I went to a Holiday Craft Faire with my mom and two of her friends. It was sort of...eh...not my thing, you know? I was all up for trying the home made sweets and looking at the funky hand-knitted things, but not really interested enough to walk around an entire warehouse of knitted tea-cozys, you know? So, I went and sat down in the eating area and started inking and coloring a sketch I drew in the car of an old character, Wynntr. I wanted to redesign her a little so she fit my new style a bit better and so she was easier to draw (her original design rivaled shoujo manga artists in it's complicity!). 

When I was finishing up the coloring many women walked by and asked if I was doing caracatures or portraits as part of the event. I smiled, thanked them for their compliments and firmly said "No". Then, this really nice elderly woman comes up to sit down with her daughter and inquires the same thing about the portraits and whatnot. I was so ready with my smile/compliment/negatory response that I was surprised when she said that she had a photo of her grandaughter with her and she really wanted a little portrait of her done. I don't know what it was, maybe it was because I knew that a little girl would be within my quick-sketch abilities, maybe I was bored, maybe she was just really nice, but whatever it was, I drew the little girl and as I was leaving she gave me two fives and asked if $10 would cover it.

Like I would say "No" to that. No, I didn't think it was worth $10 but if she felt that it was it was up to her to decide. At least, that's what mom said- and I do agree, I just felt so weird about it. I haven't gotten $10 for a drawing in...ever, I think. The most I've ever commissioned was $7 and that was a CG that took me AGES to finish and the girl who commissioned it never spoke to me again anyway, so it's not like I got feedback or anything. I just assumed that she had $7 to blow and blew it on a whim. I'll never know.

Jeez, that was a lot of thinking and writing for me, especially since I wasn't angry about anything (or depressed). That's how most of my journals get so long...

My comic is getting along non-existantly. Man, I wish that I had started this assistant group thing back when I could actually TALK to you guys in person. That would make getting my ideas across so much easier (and faster)! I'd probably get tons more done too. I don't know if I'll ever meet anyone out here that would be willing to do the same thing as you guys. I can see myself maybe joining a smart art collective or a team or something in college. Maybe publishing a doujinshi or a fanzine together- but I don't see anyone else working with me on my comic project. Eh~ maybe it's just going to be up to me to finish it afterall?! No....I'm too lazy.

BTW- I spent the $10 buying new colored pencils to add to my collection so that when my computer disappears, I'll have a reason to switch over to tradtional media--new stuff is always the perfect reason to work on something. :D

Tags: art, comic, commissions, creative individual, holiday faire
Current Mood: blah

I really miss being able to just draw something for no reason at all with practically no stimulus and no rules on what it had to look like.

I miss being able to just DRAW. Not "draw this" or "draw her proportionately" or "draw something original" or "not draw that". I want to just DRAW. And there is something that is keeping me from doing that.

I can't decide whether it's my own mind- which has been taught the "right and wrong" ways to draw something- and even see something. Or whether it's just an urge to please other people. When I draw something nowadays all I can think of is "How is the view going to see this? Is it clear enough? Will they ask questions? Will they find some meaning in it?". I can't just say to myself: well lookit that, I drew a picture; wasn't that fun? No, there's something more behind it now. Something deeper--but the reasoning feels so shallow... 

A great example is my comic project. My very first draft of this story composed and created over five years ago now, was done in a spiral notebook with crayola superthin markers and a lot of really icky mistakes. It's horrifyingly poorly drawn and the sequentials are all wrong and just everything about it screams, "I drew this for my own benefit which is why I'm the only one who gets it" ! I still have the darn thing somewhere, because the spirit of the urge I had to even create this story lies in that piece of crap. The characters aren't the same, the setting isn't the same, the story isn't the same, the TITLE isn't even the same! But it's the first, and so I kept it. I've also kept every single other version of/attempt to create this comic as well, because- up until now- I've always had that urge to draw more just by looking at them and remembering how much I loved working on them.

Today, I still love the story and the characters and all the concepts I've finally tied down so everything works, but the feeling I used to get when I drew the actual thing is just gone. I spend more time calculating panels-per-page and how things are going to flow and even -ugh- proper speech bubble placement, all to improve the reader's comprehension of the story.

And yet, when I look at other webcomics on the same site, and I look at ones which are drawn OK and are done entirely in pencil or ballpoint pen and have crappy panel placement, I can still see the meaning in the story. There is still comprehension. I still feel for these characters; I get a feeling for the whole story. It's not about the quality of the art, it's about the story! That's what makes it fantastic!

So, why can't I look past quality and just work? I'm not publishing this work, it's a webcomic! It can be as rushed as I want it to be, as long as my characters and story stay strong, I keep readers!! Am I that much of a perfectionist? Is it the fancy art school training that causes me to want all my work to look as professional as possible? Is it just me? It hurts me to think that I'm working so slowly on my comic, when for once I have fans (31 fans!) who are waiting to see the next page and I'm stuck (literally) at the drawing board trying to make it perfect. :(

In other (less depressing?) news: I start Psychology101 tomorrow afternoon. I went out today and bought the book. Freaking $90 book. Hah-hah, and that's just a paperback too- I can't imagine what the real books cost!! Immense amounts of money. Mom kept telling me she used to spend hundreds of dollars a semester just for her 4 classes. Yeesh!--Glad I get to sell back the stupid thing. XP

Other things: Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper tastes SO BAD hot. DON'T DRINK IT- IT WEEL KEEEEEL YOOOOU. D:>

Tags: art, book, college, comic, dr. pepper, perfectionist, project h4x, psychology
Current Location: home :)
Current Mood: complacent

If you have been placed in ANY of the wrong categories or wish to take this time to withdraw, THIS POST is where you'll do it. This is the finalized post for the assistants/volunteers. If you are not here, you will not receive the correct information or resources to do your job.

If you have an asterisk "*" next to your username it is because you volunteered to help, but did not sign up for this job. If you want to change this THIS is the post to do it in.


Co-authors: 
0dd0ne0ut
 , 
catkinisis
 , 
phoenixfyre89


Technical/Web personel:
0dd0ne0ut
,
damaged_lilacs


Reference:
*
kalliel ,
phoenixfyre89 ,

Toning:

damaged_lilacs

Backgrounds:
0dd0ne0ut

Paneling and Storyboard:
 ,
phoenixfyre89
,
vampire_writer
</div>,
0dd0ne0ut

If you want  any further information on the project or you want to know what you'll be doing, you can contact me at skriptkitty@gmail.com .

Tags: assistants, comic, list, project h4x, volunteer
Current Location: home...but I should be asleep...
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Helena- MCR

Why hello there. :D

If you know me well enough, you will know for sure that I do creative projects in small bursts that loose steam after I get stressed about them. Well, this case seems to be different. Happily, I have not lost that spark of interest for going on four months now! It's exciting.

If you haven't already guessed, I am of course talking about this (again):


Yes, yes, yes~ I do obsess over it a lot, but that's because it's my favorite story to work on! And now that I've got other people interested in it, I'm just so excited about making it a reality! But I do have a few problems, which is what this journal will be addressing.

I have two co-authors, as I mentioned before 0dd0ne0ut  and catkinisis . But to tell you the truth, the writing is now the least of my worries--well, not the least, but definitely not the fore-most either. My new problems are based more in the comic itself and the artwork.

I am writing and drawing the comic. It is quite an undertaking for someone who is only just barely an amateur in both categories! But I'm even more than an amateur (dare I say, n00b?) in the world of actually creating comic pages themselves! I've read books on the subject and I've tried experiementing with all sorts of projects, but to tell you the truth it's just not a comfortable medium! But I can't just ditch it either! I need to get better, I need to practice- but practicing all the wrong things doesn't help...I need someone (or some people) who can help me better understand exactly what I'm trying to do! I need comic assistants.These positions include: reference assistant,  backgrounds assistant, toning assistant, a paneling and storyboard assistant and a web savvy person.

Obviously, these are all positions that can be done online and in your spare time. They aren't paid positions and they won't be until I start getting paid for drawing. These are all volunteer positions I'm afraid. The only payment you get will be my eternal gratitude and a credit line on the comic's site. If you are interested, please read what each position entails below:

Reference Assistant: A somewhat boring, but extremely easy job. You will be asked to find specific references for use in the comic. These will range from photos and illustrations to book references. You will be provided with a free stock photo account and a photobucket account if you do not already have one to use. You may also choose to register a specific gmail e-mail account for this job.
Requirements: you will need a computer, internet access and be over the age of 13 to register an account with the Stock site.

Backgrounds Assistant: A job that will require some extensive artistic knowledge. You will be asked to use an already supplied reference to create a background for a panel that I may find is too complex for me to work on. (See? I am lame- I need help). The panel does not have to be colored, inked or toned as long as the sketch is clean.
Requirements: you will need a computer, internet access and a working e-mail account. Like I said before, extensive knowledge of art is required- but you don't need to be a professional. You are just copying from a reference after all.

Toning Assistant: A job that is crucial to the completion of the comic. You will be given an uncolored/ untoned page with no text and expected to use supplied Photoshop tools to color and/or tone the page. You will NOT be asked to tone every single page, only certain ones. Therefore you will have lots of work, just not very often.
Requirements: you will need a computer, internet and at least ONE version of Adobe Photoshop. If you do not HAVE Photoshop, but REALLY REALLY want to do this job for me, I can set something up for you. You only need a really, really basic knowledge of Photoshop and I have many tutorials for you to work from as well.

Paneling and Storyboard: Wow, this is SO crucial it's not even funny. I have no idea what I'm doing here. Maybe YOU do! Or maybe you can read the selected reads and see if you get it anymore than I do!  You will be asked to help me create and edit scripts based off of a simplified storyboard.  You will also help me edit panels so they are easy to read and follow because I suck at this.
Requirements: You will need to be on hand at least once every week, so we can discuss next week's page. (If you have more time, we can work at several pages at once.) You will need to have a computer, internet, e-mail, and be willing to really commit to at least this one job. You will also become "part of the loop"- you will need to learn and understand (to a point) all of the information pertaining to the storyboard from beginning to end. You do NOT have to do any actual writing.

Web Savvy Personel: Because I don't have time to make my website look cool. Your job is also simple, you will need to use HTML and CSS to create a good layout for the website. As you can see, I am currently using a default template and it's boring and ugly and well, sucky. We will work together to make it look really cool! The job is a super-simple one and it only needs to be done once, though don't be surprised if you need to do a little maintenance when things change.
Requirements: You will need a computer, internet connection, an e-mail, and knowledge of HTML and CSS. You will be provided with a Smackjeeves account so you can work on the layout directly. Some artistic knowledge would be nice, but isn't necessary.


So, as you can see, there are LOTS of jobs that need doing! If you don't think you qualify for any of the jobs, but you are still interested in helping we can definitely find something for you to do! I will always accept help! Always. Also, if you know anyone who wants to help, the same applies for them. :)

Please help me if you can. This means a lot to me; no kidding. I'm sorry I can't pay anyone for their work, but it's not full time- not even part-time work- so it's more for fun than anything else, but it's still so very important to me! Don't forget~ We've got 30 fans so far~ and I just can't let them down. And it will be fun, I promise!! :D

Thanks so much!!!
 

Tags: comic, help, project h4x, work
Current Location: home :)
Current Mood: Very Hopeful

We were totally laughing our arses off back in high school about everything. About school and guys and comic books and...stuff like that.

And then it's like- POOF -everyone is just having problems! People fighting, people's parents fighting. WTF? What happened here? Did everything just wait until we decided to grow up to come crashing down? Did fate wait until it was determined we were prepared, or what? It's just crazy! We've never had to focus on problems like this so closely before. It's not like we didn't have the problems, we just didn't have to deal with them quite the same way because we were focusing on school and our social lives and being better people. And now, these problems are all our own problems and dammit, we've got to face them head on.

Yes, I've had way too much time to think on this stuff. I still haven't started college, gotten a job, or managed to make friends yet. Yet. It will happen eventually, but it just hasn't happened yet. I'll get more of a chance to meet people when I start school/work. Actually, I've already gotten better at talking to people at random- instead of cowering away and squeaking in my tiny "I'm freaking scared of you, so I'm gonna' be ridiculously polite and maybe you'll shut up" voice that I use on strangers so much. Hah-hah. Yes, I have no other way to describe the voice. XD

I don't know if it's because suddenly I'm an adult and it's not as weird for older people to talk to me, or because no one can figure out my age at a glance anymore, but whatever it is it's so much easier to be social. And it feels nice.

I've found an anti-stressing activity that doesn't involve violence. (lol) I work on my comic. Yes, the infamous comic I'm always babbling about working on for the past 5 years and such- that I've actually put the first 7 pages online, in an attempt to gain interest. That comic. Funny thing is, it has no title anymore. I can't decide on one, to tell you the truth. I've got a creative team now *super huggles 0dd0ne0ut and catkinisis * and we've been brainstorming it, but god forbid I even find a title for the darn thing. It's currently referred to as The Project and writing it up makes me the happiest person in the world, because unlike art, I only need to transfer words to text and not thoughts to images. I do love art, but it requires a lot more focus than my creative writing. :D

It feels good to create (or destroy- hah!) in my own story. And you would think it would be because I can control a characters every move and emotion, but most of the time they come to life by themselves and I just sort of...follow along. I don't know- you'd have to know what I'm talking about...to know...what I'm talking about. Yes...

Tomorrow I need to wake up at 7am because I decided to take the A.M. shift for Kitteh Feeding Duty. :3

Tags: anti-stress, college, comic, creative writing, high school, the project, thinking
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Thanks for the Memories- F.O.B. (lol)

MY COMIC

(read it plzkthnx)

Tags: comic
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: AFI- The Missing Frame

Metaphorically speaking.

I submitted the 5 completed pages last night at around...11pm and then I was just too tired to keep going...

I don't know if they were accepted or not. I'm not sure they will be since they requested a 300dpi scan and I...well, I don't think mine is that high. @__@ I can't really tell though, there wasn't really a way to check using the Library's computers.

Why, WHY, must I be forced to use a Limited User account. And when I say "limited user I mean": no right-click, no saving to the desktop, no C: drive, no Control Panel, no command prompt...no NOTHING. UGH. It's maddening!

But then again, even if I don't actually make it into BAAUdown6 this year, I think I still have a victory in finished 5 complete pages and one splash cover in only 4 days with limited resources and barely any time to work. And I learned how stressful a REAL deadline for artwork can be. And how much sleep and eating time you lose before you even notice it.

Ahhh...the workforce. It's so....crappy. :P

Anyway, whether I get into the book or not I'm going to be posting the pages on my dA and maybe here (with links so you can actually read them-LOL). And maybe, if I feel inspired enough, I'll finish the other 3 pages and post those too.

And if I DO make it into the book...then I'll probably become uber-excited and inspired and be forced to use a Webcomic host (probably smackjeeves) and actually START POSTING the comic.

 *LE GASP*

In the meantime...Breakfast....er.....Brunch.

Tags: baau, comic, library, webcomic hosts